Self Study

Self-Portrait as Seedling

To know the self as seedling again.

To push against the home I’ve known

before launching into ecstatic stretch. 

To trust again how the slenderest threads 

will anchor me to the world. 

I had become so enamored with blooming,

I forgot the joy of initiation, 

the thrill of not knowing, 

the startlement of reaching through

darkness into light. 

I’d forgotten the earnest striving

that comes before bud, before petal, 

before effulgent perfume.

To be held by it again, 

that sacred uncertainty. 

To feel the flush of becoming 

what I already am.

—Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer